For those who live with chronic pain, everyday can be a mystery. If you are like me, I do not like to make plans with friends, much less make plans for anything. It isn’t because I’m antisocial, it’s honestly because I do not know how I was going to feel.

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I hate the feeling of not being dependable or the one who never shows up to any function. As much as I hate it, I have turned into that person. I missed a lot of my kids school activities due to me being sick. Even though I didn’t look sick, I was ridiculed because people thought I was faking. Sounds familiar?

After two years of being away from the workforce I decided to go back. Working for a local insurance agency. I was so used for 9 years in a fast pace educational setting, that I was ready for a new change. However, as today was the first day….my current status is laying in bed with a horrendous migraine.

What a horrible first impression on the first day! All these thoughts just added more stress to my problems. I’m running on 4 solid hours of sleep, because of my anxiety. Thoughts running through my mind such as, “am I ready to go back to work?” “What if it’s too much for my body?” All these thoughts, caused me to not sleep well, not to mention waking up with a migraine, swelling, and inflammation. For the first time, in a year… I’m having a full blown bad day. Which… I literally caused myself.

When I walked into work this morning, the atmosphere was relaxed and pleasant. Unlike the school, which is always a mad house. The lady was training me on programs, and as I was taking notes I actually understood what she was talking about. I was already studying for my insurance license, but actually understanding what I read was awesome. No stress at all! So why did my migraine not go away?

The first day at any new job is mind boggling, and can be overwhelming. Learning new systems, the rules, answering phones, but the overall experience was great! Plus, having a boss who understands migraines and your well-being is also a plus! As I lay down after taking my meds, I can only say…I got this! I know my limits and it’s only natural of being scared of starting a new job. I know my health is still limited, but I refuse to be a prisoner of my illness. This is just the beginning… of something great!

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